Welcome to the Ministry of daydreams, It is my proud work for the Labour party that is to be put into practice. My first project will be to employ a million unemployed youth to dig a big hole, sack them and then employ another million youth to fill it back up.
Future projects include an aerospace defence project which will employ one million youths to build a giant one million foot tall fly squatter to stop incoming Iraqi missiles (that they don't have).
We are going to put to work genius brains like Chemical Ali, and plan to stop all crime with the help of Batman, Paul Danials, Hermon Munster and Kaiser Sozay.
A future white paper is being prepared now at the expence (very considerable expence, have you seen the prices of biscuits) of the tax payer to see whether the curent existing white paper is white enough. But we lost that white paper as we sent it by courier to our office in Shangrila, or maybe Zanidoo.
Another white paper is therefore being drafted as we speak to find the location of the first white paper. I'm not at all a geography buff so do not now the location of my office, it's that big and expensive.
We totally support the governments socialist policies regarding political correctness and will be following all graffiti artists and corecting them on grama and spelling.
In regards to health and safety we will be appointing two crack marksmen to every citizen. This will stop people actually realising that they are about to die and save them from suffering. In the event of a fatal car accident the snipers will shoot the citizen in the head thus they will not know what is happening. Rock climbers will be exempt from this cover because I don't like them.
We also will save the environment by actually getting people jobs where they live.
Monopoly money will become legal tender to stop us having to spend real money printing more.
May big brother live forever, preserving all illusions to the bitter end, of my career.
Remember the motto of the party, fornicate, masturbate, stagnate.
Written by my soulmate, partner and carer who keeps me smiling through these dark times.
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