Yesterday I noticed a strange advertisement of Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall and some other TV chefs in a football kit on a huge billboard. I don't have TV so I have no idea what it was about, but I used to watch River Cottage before denouncing television. I especially loved the one episode I saw of beyond river cottage where he slit the throat of a chicken and made a woman cry.
After seeing this advertisement I thought that Hugh had lost all credibility by wearing a football kit and standing next to that idiot Gordon Ramsey (are all Gordon's idiots?). Then last night I had a really strange dream that I went on holiday to Tokyo in Japan and I bumped into Hugh and started having a big argument with him about how crap all celebrities are and how they preach to us about doing good deeds and never do anything themselves except Bob Geldof. Hugh was especially nice and even cooked me nice meal. Of course if I did meet him in real life I probably wouldn't say anything as I'm a social phobic.
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